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My wife was my life
From the archive, first published Tuesday 15th Nov 2005.
Nurse Mayra Cabrera, died after giving birth to her son. Her husband Arnel tells Dave Andrew of the anguish he is going through
WHEN Arnel Cabrera held his newborn baby for the first time he had no idea he would never see his wife alive again.
Now when he asks his son Zac to say hello to mummy he can only point at the couple's wedding picture.
Arnel's wife Mayra, a theatre nurse, died among her colleagues at Great Western Hospital after suffering a seizure an hour after giving birth to Zac on May 11 last year.
In the short time she had with her child she commented on how her beautiful baby had his father's nose.
And in her last words to her husband she said: "I love you".
Zac is now being cared for by Mr Cabrera's mother in the Philippines, where the couple were from originally, while the circumstances of her death are investigated.
An inquest to establish how she died and whether the hospital had any part to play in it was scheduled to get under yesterday.
The hearing at Swindon Police Station was adjourned until next year to allow more time to study a report by an expert witness.
Since his wife's death Mr Cabrera says life has been extraordinarily hard.
He said: "I haven't fully recovered yet.
"I miss her terribly. The way we were separated is terrible.
"I know that all of us will be dead in time but not in that way.
"My wife was my life. She was everything to me.
"That's why I'm still having a hard time dealing with this.
"When I am with friends I feel okay but at the end of the day I am alone and remember the things we did before.
"That makes it more difficult."
Mayra, who was 30 at the time of her death, came to work in Swindon in 2002.
Her husband followed a year later and found a job as an assistant technical officer at the GWH.
He said: "In the Philippines I am an IT programmer and I had a stable job but we decided we wanted to settle here because we thought it was better for us to raise a family here."
When Mayra fell pregnant the couple were over the moon.
Mr Cabrera said: "She gave birth to our son and I was holding him in my arms and then things happened all at once.
"She had a seizure and the crash team came in and I was sitting down and one of the members of the crash team escorted me out of the delivery room.
"She told me everything would be all right.
"I told Mayra that I loved her and she told me that she loved me. They were her last words.
"And I never saw her again alive.
"I am still struggling to put my life together again.
"Right now this is not finished yet. It still causes worry and stress."
Mr Cabrera returned to the Philippines after his wife's death to arrange her funeral and look after Zac.
He said: "Then I came back to Swindon in September.
"We are all waiting for the report of the coroner.
"They told me they would conduct an investigation."
He has not been able to work because of the stress of losing his wife.
He said: "I can't concentrate on work and deal with this at the same time.
"The bottom line is who is the culprit? It would help if I knew who did it.
"I want justice for my wife. Above anything else she deserved justice."
He is waiting for the outcome of the inquest before discussing the possibility of compensation with his solicitor.
He said: "No amount of money will replace my wife.
"But I definitely do need money to bring up my son and secure his future financially."
Mr Cabrera said that 18-month-old Zac is now growing fast.
He said: "He's fine but he will grow up without knowing a mum.
"It's very hard for me and extremely hard for him.
"Everybody needs a mother to guide us when we are growing up.
"I have to live in stress and the emotions that my son is not with me during this fight.
"We have a wedding picture in the house.
"And I always tell him that it's mummy in the picture.
"Whenever I ask him to say hello to mummy he points at the picture and says `hi'.
"He looks like his mum and he's a very happy kid just like she was.
"He's a big strong baby. His mum was very healthy and active so I suppose he must have inherited that.
"He is changing so fast. He's only 18 months old but he knows if I am going out shopping.
"If he sees me dressed for going out he won't leave my side because he wants to come out with me." He said that he will one day have to tell Zac what happened to his mother.
"But even if I told him now he wouldn't understand," he said.
"He's too young. But I haven't made up a story telling him she's abroad or something.
"He has no idea where she is."
The couple were together for nine years.
He said his wife was always a very happy person.
"She was very kind and if ever anyone wanted a favour she would do it," he said.
"She and I really clicked. We saw each other for the first time in church and just talked.
"I knew straight away there was something special and I think she felt it too."
Inquest adjourned
AN inquest into the death of Mayra Cabrera was adjourned in Swindon yesterday to allow more time for specialist reports to be examined.
Coroner David Masters said the application, which was made by lawyers for Mr Cabrera, stemmed from the late delivery of a report by an expert.
Mr Masters said: "I very much regret the late delivery of that report."
Lawyers for Swindon and Marlborough NHS Trust did not oppose the adjournment.
Eighteen months have already passed since Mrs Cabrera's death. Mr Masters said: "I apologise for the time that has elapsed but sadly, from what I have heard today, further time must elapse."
He said it was unlikely the inquest would reconvene before the New Year.
Mr Cabrera is undaunted by the latest development.
He said: "I think it's for the best. My barrister says the scope of the inquest will be a bit wider now.
"Getting truth and justice, even if it takes a few months more, is the most important thing for me."
Great Western Hospital said it will not comment until the inquest has finished.
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